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Its Okay to Not Feel Productive Right Now

A Journal Entry By Geralline Sapp

It’s already been a year of an official pandemic. Does anyone else remember when we were all leaving for spring break and the administration made us all think it would just be a few weeks, then we’d be back? Yea, me too. In about two weeks, I will have spent a second birthday in a pandemic, unable to do what I would normally do...travel and spend time with my loved ones. There have been so many challenges from this year. School alone has taken such a toll on my mental and emotional health. At first, I thought what probably everyone thought, “online is going to be so easy,” “I can just lay in bed,” “I am going to ace all of my tests!” And I was doing fine and getting into a routine until I wasn’t. I think the point that hit me was winter term. Now I know that many people go through seasonal depression, but this wasn’t just that. I was home with my family, some of my closest friends, and, more importantly, my dog! I was working as well (because hello money) and just trying to keep myself busy and productive in any way that I could. I started to join clubs and organizations and feel like myself again. And then it kind of just stopped. I got into a school rut, like writer’s block, but with all motivation even to try thrown out the window. I started to feel just brain dead and dreaded looking at my canvas notifications, and my grades began to show it. Now I wasn’t failing all of my classes. I was doing great in most of them, but there was one that I just didn’t care about. It was one where after I finished doing all the other things that I was doing, I just felt mentally done. Well, I finally had a meeting with the professor about it and explained what was going on in my life, between juggling school and work, to the mental exhaustion I was starting to feel. I was honestly super nervous about it because I didn’t want to sound like I was making excuses or looking for sympathy. I just wanted to be honest about what was going on. And there’s something about this meeting that I will probably never forget. He told me about his struggles when he was a young student and how it was because one of his professors gave him a second chance that led him to where he is now.

He said students should never feel any fear or embarrassment when problems come up because professors are human. They understand that things happen in your personal lives. You don’t have to get into the details, but letting them know helps them understand how to help you better. After our little emotional talk, he asked me about my major. I told him public relations, and he said that should make me an expert in promoting myself. I am not that kind of person, and honestly, I don’t like to ask for help. But he just kept telling me that it takes time, but don’t be afraid. “Do good work, and make sure people know about it,” said my professor. So I guess the story’s moral is not to feel stressed or overwhelmed if you feel like you aren’t making your best effort. Everyone has something going on in their lives, and we don’t always know it. But if you give someone a chance, they will return the effort to get to know you better and want to help you.




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